Leopardleaf

[leopardleaf]

Name: Leopardleaf
Nickname/Alias: N/A
Gender: Female
Age: 3
Group: DawnClan
Rank: Medicine-Cat

Appearance: Leopardleaf has a long sandy color body with brown and black spots and large, golden-brown paws fit with fur in between her toes making her paws look gentle and soft. Along with her soft looking paws she has small white claws that she easily hides making her look vulnerable to others, but don't be fooled by this appearance her claws are sharp. Her legs are also powerful making her an excellent hunter with their sandy color and black stripes. She has a red and black nose for smelling prey and long white whiskers above her white chin and chest. Leopard has
Golden-yellow eyes that reflect green in the darkness of night and last but not least, she has striped black tail, her body looking much like that of the cat in the picture below. Her voice is as gentle as a summer breeze, quite and calm.

Physical Strengths: Stealthy and fast for hunting and chasing with powerful legs for pouncing

Physical Weaknesses: Not trained well in fighting and can not hear well out of her left ear. She is also scared of thunder & lightning and will not leave her den in storms. Nervous around Leaders and Deputies. Scared of cats bigger then her self. Will run away from fights unless told to fight some one by her leader.

Mental Strengths: Creative with mixing herbs and making things, clever minded, and always prepared.

Mental Weaknesses: Daydreams,Disorganized,Wanders off sometimes, Forgets minor things, and avoids strangers because she is shy unless they need her help, Jealous of the other cats that can have mates knowing she isn't suppose to have one as a medicine cat, severely scared of twolegs and will freeze up is she even smells one.

Personality: She is calm in bad situations and tries to stay and help when she can. She talks in a soft voice even when angry but can be loud when she needs to be. Leopardleaf is kind to all and will share her food with others even if she is hungry and if they were her enemy because she hates to see cats go hungry and helps the injured. She will also stop everything she is doing when cute tom-cats are nearby because she gets nervous around them wondering if she will ever find a good mate like other cats in her clan have.

History: Three years ago Leopard was born in the Dawn Clan camp with her sister, they were protected and loved by her mother Spottedsand who wouldn't let them out of her sight. Her mother chose to keep her father a secret even from her kits and know one knew who it was. Leopard and her sister spent most of their time playing with and chasing each other through the camp. Some of their games included tag, playing with other kits, wrestling, hunting small bugs, and hanging out in the medicine cat den. These two kits were always together but one day a storm came and as they ran inside her sister vanished and the clan looked for her but the storm was harsh and masked any scent trail that would have been there so the clan claimed she had ran away and died in the storm. Her sister was missed greatly by many cats but most of all by Leopard but she always believed her sister was still out there somewhere in the great beyond.
Soon Leopard became a medicine cat apprentice and her mentor was a fuzzy nice old cat named Fluffpelt who had dark brown and black fur longer then any cat she had even seen. His mother named him that because of his fur and because she had thought he was a girl at first but he didn't like to admit it but every one had known it. He was her role-model and she liked to watch him and pretend to do things that he did. This is part of the reason she is so nice to others, because of Fluffpelt and her mother. She was born a good hunter and naturally needed less training for it so they could spend most of the time learning the territory and where to find the best herbs and practice fighting at random times because he liked to test her to be ready for anything. The reason she was chosen to be a medicine cat was because of her kindness and she had an interest in herbs, always asking Fluffpelt questions about them when she was a kit
Finally she was ready to become a Medicine-cat and got her warrior name, Leopardleaf. She quickly began helping other cats like she did even while she was still an apprentice. A few weeks passed since the day she became a warrior and Fluffpelt passed away of old age. This saddened her but she continued her work and took over as full medicine cat with all of its duties right after the ceremony.

Other: N/A

Attachments:

[Accalia]

Okay, Leopardleaf. We have a few things we'd like you to correct about your application before we can accept you...

First of all, please leave only the field names (everything BEFORE each colon) in bold; if you view other profiles you can see how this works. We like each to look the same, so that they are easier to navigate, and having all text in bold looks unprofessional.

Secondly, the Group needs to specify the actual Clan, rather than merely 'Clan'; ForeverClan, NeverClan, DawnClan or DuskClan. Since we know you're aiming for DaC medicine cat and currently DaCs are banned, we'll allow you to keep this for now, but upon being accepted as medicine cat, please change this to 'DawnClan'.

Thirdly, we'd like you to balance her a little more. Whilst your strengths/weakness fields aren't too unbalanced, you also have strengths in the other fields.
For her good traits, her 'paws can swipe across you face in an instance', her legs are powerful, she's an excellent hunter, excellent climber, a pretty voice, her appearance fools you, she's quiet, stealthy, fast, creative, smart, good at making things, always prepared, and has medicine skills. She's also calm in bad situations, stays and helps when she can, talks in a soft, calm voice, can be loud when necessary, kind to everybody, sharing, and will even help her enemies.
On the side of her weaknesses, there's only that she isn't trained well in fighting or fishing, can't swim, daydreams, wanders off, forgets minor things and avoids strangers- I've read shy, so correct me if I'm wrong.
This leaves her with 21 strengths and only 7 weaknesses. Moreover, we don't count inability to swim or fish as a weakness on Falling Era, since most cats can't anyway; meaning that she has 21 strengths and 5 weaknesses.
I'd like you to do either one of two things, or even both; remove some strengths, or add some weaknesses. For instance, would she really be good at hunting and climbing? Yes, she has powerful legs, but she's a medicine cat- she never will have been trained in those things. Also, if she has such powerful legs and fast claws, wouldn't she have become a warrior? Or you could add her weaknesses- develop the forgetfulness into more weaknesses. If she's forgetful, how about disorganised as well? Is her den a mess all the time? And how is she with other cats- you mention she is shy; is she awkward at all with them? Once you start developing her weaknesses, you can really make her 3D.


Finally, some of the history doesn't make sense; it appears at times like she originally trained as a warrior, but we know she's a medicine cat. Please clarify.

Thankyou,

Accalia.

[Accalia]

You've made some good changes; but we still need to see some balancing.

Strengths;
1. Appearance fools other cats
2. Excellent hunter
3. Powerful legs
4. Nice voice
5. Stealthy
6. Fast
7. Creative
8. Medicine skills (since she's a medicine cat)
9. Clever
10. Always prepared
11. Calm in bad situations
12. Talks softly even when angry
13. Can be loud when she needs to be
14. Kind to everybody
15. Sharing, even to enemies
16. Knows medicine cat stuff about StarClan
17. Knows where to find best herbs

(8, 16 and 17 are assumed about all medicine cats- unless they specifically state that they communicate badly with StarClan, forget major things like where to find herbs, or have no medicine skills and/or were wrongly chosen by their mentors. It's a given about any medicine cat).


Weaknesses;
1. Not trained well in fighting
2. Hearing in left ear
3. Scared of thunder and lightning
4. Daydreams
5. Disorganised
5. Wanders off sometimes
6. Forgets minor things
7. Shy


All you need to do is add some weaknesses; you don't necessarily need to take away any of the strengths she has. They are a good set of strengths, and there are some inherent weaknesses there, but unless you state them we can't accept them as weaknesses.

For instance, presumably, she will be much less strong and fit than the other cats. Whilst she may have been born with powerful legs, sorting herbs in a den or walking around the territory looking at plants is not terribly conducive to physical power. That's an inherent weakness of being a medicine cat; but unless you put it down as either strength or weakness, we have to assume she's about average in terms of physical strengths.
You could also work on her forgetfulness; as it is, she just forgets minor things. As it's only 'minor things' that she forgets, this isn't a very big weakness. However, if she forgot more major things, like where she put that catmint she urgently needs to treat the dying elders, then that'd be a major weakness and would help balance her more.
Cowardice would also work well; you state that she doesn't like seeing cats go hungry- so presumably she doesn't like seeing them hurt- so maybe she doesn't like fights? Is she scared of them? Or is she just pacifist to the point of being a pushover? Or is she brave? (Note if she's brave you'll have to add more weaknesses to balance that- I'm trying to suggest weaknesses here )
How well does she interact with others, once she's got over her shyness and gone over and said hello? Is she naive and unable to tell when they are lying or feigning? Does she blurt out things without realising they're rude and then feel dreadfully sorry afterwards? What about kits- how does she handle them? Does she accidentally patronize them occasionally? Or give them too much freedom to romp around, play and be silly, when she knows they're supposed to be growing up?
How does she react when she's taunted or insulted? Is she a pushover, or does she throw a temper tantrum? Does she get all upset and retreat to her den?

You don't have to put any of that in the profile, but you do have to think of some more weaknesses- the ones I have given are just my suggestions. She is a nice character and I'd love to accept her, but if we let one character through, it is a slippery slope and the site can become full of very strong, unbalanced characters. That said, with a few minor alterations, she'd be great, and I'm looking forward to accepting her and Roleplaying with you!

Thankyou,

Accalia

[leopardleaf]

1.fighting
2.hearing left ear
3.Scared of thunder
4.Nervous
5.Scared
6.runs away from fights unless leader.
7.Daydreams
8.Disorganized
9.Wanders off sometimes
10.Forgets minor things
11.shy
12.Jealous

[Accalia]

Thanks for making the changes we requested! We're happy to say you are now accepted and can RP with the rest of us! Welcome to Falling Era, and we hope you have a really good time!